Tuesday, March 8, 2011

The Coach's Widow's Tips to Staying Sane for Moms

How to stay sane as a mom:

1. First and foremost, Take time for you!!!
I have a hard time with this sometimes because I feel like mommy knows best. Yes, Daddy may let them eat 3 starches for dinner but they will survive while I take a half an hour to write, or enjoy a night out with my girlfriends. This pertains to taking time out for you to spend time with your husband as well. Coach and I make it a point to go on at least one date a month. Many times we have the babysitter come over after 2/3 kids are asleep, but at least we have the chance to reconnect and remember the special things we love about each other that are harder to see with spit up on your shirt, or Barney songs playing in the background.  

2. Ask for help. I have such a hard time with this. In my head, if I can't do something on my own then I'm weak. I have learned that even the most successful people have to get help. All the Hollywood celebrities have assistants, maybe that's what I need ;)

Grammie loves giving babies baths in
the sink!!! I love taking pics of

3. Say No. As a mom there are people asking you for things left and right. On top of your families needs there are always others asking for your help. Don't overload your plate. Learn to say no if you really don't have time or the energy to fully fulfill those obligations and continue to be a great mom. There will always be someone who is disappointed if you say no, but the most important thing is your health, and the needs of your family.

Sometimes you have to be stern!

4. Realize that no one is perfect. Doing your best and putting forth effort for your family is all that matters. Parenting and perfection do not go together. It is more like a hill you are trying to climb. Sometimes you need to sit down and take a break, sometimes you may go downhill a little, but you are always working toward being at the top (you can't leap to the top of a mountain, it takes a lot of effort and trials to reach the peak, but the view from the top is worth the work).

5. Give up the guilt. Everyone has different expectations and beliefs about what form of parenting is best. As long as love and energy is put into raising your children, you should feel like you are doing a good job. I constantly feel guilty for everything (sitting down to rest even makes me feel guilty sometimes when I feel like my time could be more productively spent another way). Guilt is never productive.

Happy Healthy Moms = Happy Healthy Kids

 If your children see and feel that you are enjoying life, they in turn will see what they need to do to enjoy their own lives.